Torment (Carter Kids #4) Read online

  "Wow," I muttered under my breath. "Aren't you a bundle of joy."

  My reaction caused Lucky to grin. "Hey," he said good-naturedly. "I'm not saying don't enjoy life. I'm not that much of a pessimist." Shrugging, he added, "I'm simply saying, don’t go through life believing in fate and destiny. You're the captain of your own ship, Hope. "You're in control of you. Nothing else." With the rim of his beer bottle pressed to his bottom lip, he continued to look at me with an almost frustrated expression.

  "What?" I asked, feeling embarrassed.

  "What?" he shot back innocently.

  "Why are you looking at me like that?"

  "Like what?"

  "Like you're trying to solve a puzzle." I shifted uncomfortably, his piercing blue eyes almost too much for me. "Quit it."

  "That's because I am," he shot back without hesitating. He took a swig from his bottle before setting it down on the floor. "We've known each other, what?" He frowned. "Two months now?"

  "Yeah," I replied, twisting my body to sit cross-legged, facing him, the television program long forgotten. "And?"

  Mirroring my actions, Lucky continued with his weird and random interrogation. "I guess I'm wondering what you're waiting for?"

  "Waiting for," I deadpanned. "Okay, Lucky, I'm not following you."

  "I don’t normally pry into people's personal lives," he told me. "Usually, I don’t care enough to ask, but you." He stared hard at me, so hard it felt like he could see into my soul. "There's something about you – something different – something lonely." Shaking his head, he shrugged. "I don’t know what the hell it is about you that makes me care, but it's there, and it's real."

  "Wait–" I paused, struggling to make sense of what he was saying to me. "Are you saying you care about me?" My heart leapt in my chest. "As in; have feelings for me?" A warm feeling settled inside of me, one I hadn't felt in years. When he didn’t deny it, I blushed the color of crimson, unsure how to handle this. "Lucky, I'm flattered," I heard myself say when the truth was I was more than flattered. I was intrigued by this strange man who seemed to have fallen into my life at a time when I needed it most. "But I'm not looking for a relationship right now." Or ever.

  My thoughts immediately went to Jordan and I flinched. Would it ever get easier? Would my loyalty to him ever waver? It hadn't in over two decades. I had a sinking feeling that it never would.

  "The nervous guy," Lucky offered with a frown. "He got you bad, right?"

  My stomach took a sharp turn and plummeted into my butt.

  "Nervous," I repeated slowly. Yeah, that was one way of defining some of Jordan's personality traits. "Try husband."

  Lucky's brows shot up. "Husband." He whistled, clearly thrown. "Damn, woman. You move fast."

  "Not really," I replied, forcing a smile even though my face felt the same as my heart –numb. "We'll be married eight years this Christmas."

  "Christ," he muttered under his breath before reaching out for his beer and taking a deep swig. "I wasn't expecting that." Holding the bottle in one hand, he studied my face for a long time before clearing his throat. "I'm sorry, Hope," he finally said. "I didn’t realize you were in a committed relationship."

  "About that," I chuckled nervously. "I'm kind of not… well, he's not." Frowning, I took a moment to gather the words I needed to explain my cluster-fuck of a marriage. "He left me," I finally admitted. "Two months after we were married." Swallowing hurt, but I forced myself to push down the burning emotion. "With a Dear John letter and divorce papers."

  "Ouch," Lucky muttered after I regaled him with the details of my pitiful two-month marriage. I could see the sympathy in his eyes, but unlike normally, I welcomed it. For some strange reason, I felt this man understood me. Like he knew. He got it.

  "I had that once," he said quietly after I was done talking. "I… presume Teagan told you about Hayley?"

  Teagan had mentioned Lucky's dead girlfriend. Of course, she'd sworn me to secrecy when she told me about the reason why Lucky had been imprisoned, but I wasn’t about to deny it now. Not with him looking at me like I was the first person he'd trusted with her name.

  Nodding slowly, I edged closer to him and placed my hand on his knee. "I'm so sorry about what happened to her."

  "Not as sorry as I am." Dropping his elbows on his jean covered thighs, he sighed heavily. "I had a choice that night, Hope." His shoulders stooped lower. "And I chose wrong."

  "You couldn’t have changed it," I was quick to tell him, tightening my grip on his knee. "You walked in on something horrific, Hunter." I surprised both of us by using his real name. He looked up at me in surprise and I smiled, desperate to comfort him. "Any eighteen-year-old boy in your position would have done the same thing." My father had – I thought to myself. Even though it had been rubbed off record, our family knew what killed Jimmy Bennett that day, and it wasn’t a heart attack. My father had taken his life protecting my mother. I didn’t judge Lucky for doing what he had. He'd been driven by love and despair. All I felt for him was an overwhelming sense of sorrow.

  "It's okay, Hope." He covered my hand with his and smiled, but I could see the pain in his eyes – the internal agony he was drowning in. "Don’t feel sad for me. I know what I did. I live with the consequences every day."

  As I looked into Lucky's haunted, ice-blue eyes, all I wanted to do was throw my arms around his neck and cuddle him. He looked so alone. Like me…

  No wonder Noah and Teagan trusted this man, I suddenly thought to myself.

  He had eyes that gave you a glimpse into his soul.

  I knew the secrets lurking in those blue depths were too much for most to comprehend.

  It would take a special woman to save that man.

  "I'm so sorry that happened to you," I heard myself whisper, moving closer to him without thought for the consequences. "The pain you suffered." I shook my head and exhaled a shaky breath. "I wish I could erase it for you." Unsure of what I was doing, but unable to stop myself, I pressed my forehead to his and closed my eyes.

  "Right back atcha," I heard him whisper.

  Seconds later, I felt the soft, sweet pressure of his lips against mine.

  ****

  The back of my head cracked against the headboard.

  Seconds later, Lucky's weight came down on me, warm, hot, and entirely welcome.

  How we'd moved from the couch to his bedroom, I couldn’t recall. I'd been too caught up in how he made me feel when he had his mouth and hands on me.

  His lips were on mine; my hands were in his hair. I had the distinct feeling this was moving too fast when I felt his fingers brush against the waistband of my jeans.

  Too worked up to stop a second of this welcomed onslaught, I lifted my hips when he pulled on my jeans, allowing him to strip me down.

  "Are you sure about this?" he whispered in the darkness before pressing a kiss to my bare thigh. I wasn’t sure of anything…anything except the desperate need I had to have him inside of me.

  Rising up on my elbows, I leaned forward and whispered, "don't stop," before capturing his lips with mine.

  I was smothering in sensations I'd never felt before, reeling in the pleasure this man was giving me. He felt different, moved different, kissed different…

  The sound of a condom wrapper tearing brought me back down to earth with a bang.

  I felt him settle between my legs, probing me, teasing me, waiting for me to accept him… and I couldn’t.

  "Hope?" His voice was soft and his touch was tender, but he wasn’t my husband.

  He wasn’t Jordan.

  "I'm sorry, I can't," I choked out.

  Scrambling out from underneath Lucky, I rushed out of his room, reeling to my very core.

  What had I almost done?

  ****

  Chapter Seven

  Teagan

  We were on the mend.

  Granted, Noah was acting like a bear with a sore head, but we were most certainly on better terms. He was coming around to the idea of me stayi
ng behind when he left on Monday. He wasn’t happy about it, but then again, neither was I.

  In an ideal world, my husband would come to his senses and realize this fighting malarkey was treacherous. He would admit that I had been right all along. And then we would live happily ever after.

  I smirked to myself, thinking about the likeliness of that ever happening.

  The odds weren't in my favor on that bet.

  The thought of our impending separation caused me to break out in an unattractive bout of hives, but this was the way it had to be. He wouldn’t back down and neither would I.

  Since Cameron was still AWOL, it had been decided that Colton and Logan would go on tour with Noah and Lucky would stay here with me.

  Personally, I thought Lucky should go with Noah, but I knew him staying here with me was the deciding factor in Noah's begrudging concession. He trusted Lucky with his life – and mine. And I trusted him, too.

  "Hey, what time are we supposed to be at Kyle and Lee's?" Noah called out from inside the en-suite bathroom.

  "Eight, I think," I called back, grinning to myself. He was turning into a marshmallow. I'd convinced – more like coerced – him into dressing up for the Halloween party tonight. He wasn’t happy about it, but he was doing it.

  "I'm not happy about this, Thorn." Clearly agitated, Noah prowled around the house after me like a caged animal. "I look like a fucking tool," he added, pulling at the dark green scrubs he had on. Yep, my husband was dressed up as a doctor tonight, and because it was his twenty-sixth birthday today, I had agreed to be his slutty nurse – slutty being the stipulation to getting Noah to agree to dress up.

  "You look…hot," I breathed, taking in the sight of Noah's huge muscular build. He was the best looking doctor I'd ever seen, and the stethoscope hanging from his broad shoulders only emphasized the look.

  I on the other hand, looked like a hot mess. Stuffed into the skin tight pleather nurse's outfit, I huffed and panted as I tried and failed to pull my fishnet stockings up.

  "Here," Noah chuckled, taking pity on me.

  Dropping to his knees at the foot of our bed, he took my foot in one hand and carefully rolled my stocking up to my left thigh before doing the same with my right foot. "Now," he said softly, when he had both stockings pulled up to my thighs. "Perfect."

  "Thank you," I whispered, close to tears from the sweet act of kindness. I knew I looked far from perfect, clad in a PVC mini dress at almost eight months pregnant, but Noah's eyes were full of honesty so I called it an unofficial victory.

  He stared at me for a long moment before shaking his head and smiling to himself. "Lucky's waiting downstairs," he told me as he got to his feet. "Does Hope need a ride?"

  "No." I shook my head. "She's meeting us there." I'd hardly seen Hope in three days. She'd been getting up earlier than all of us and heading out, and coming home when we were all in bed. I had no clue what was going on with her, but I had a niggling feeling that it had something to do with Jordan the Dick. After all, it usually did.

  ****

  Noah

  Lucky was one moody motherfucking batman.

  He never spoke a word on the ride over to the Carter's house and I had a feeling his silence and bad mood had something to do with Hope.

  It wasn’t hard to figure it out.

  One minute everything was fine, and the next Hope was avoiding the house like the plague. I hoped they hadn’t fucked around the other night – for their own sakes.

  She wasn’t over Jordan and he wasn’t over Hayley. A relationship between them would never work, but I wasn’t about to open my mouth and say anything. I needed Lucky around when I left on the tour tomorrow.

  Picking an argument with my friend over his choice of women wasn’t something I could afford to do. And selfish as it seemed, if Lucky liking Hope meant Teagan was safe, then they could go on liking each other for the next six weeks...

  When we reached thirteenth street, the house was packed with people. Cars were piled on the sidewalks on both sides of the street. I stayed close to my wife, not daring to let her out of my sight for a second. She was beaming tonight, looking happier than I'd seen her in months. A pang of sadness hit me straight in the gut. How the hell was I going to cope without her for six weeks?

  I didn’t have a chance to dwell on it though, because the minute we stepped inside the red-bricked, two story house in thirteenth street, we were ambushed by more people than I knew names for, all laden down with balloons and party streamers.

  "Surprise!"

  "Happy birthday, Noah!"

  I turned and gaped at Teagan. "You knew?"

  She shook her head. "I swear I didn’t," she shot back with a gleeful expression. "I planned on surprising you tonight when we were in bed, but this is so much better."

  I looked at my wife dressed as a slutty nurse and then at the crowd of people surrounding us. Somehow, I highly doubted this would be better.

  There wasn’t much better in life than being in bed with my wife, and I felt like a fish out of water as I stood in the middle of the Carter's hallway with all these people wishing me a happy birthday. The only thing that felt familiar in this moment was Teagan's hand as she squeezed mine. I didn’t know how to do this. I'd never had a party in my life, except for the parties me and Lucky threw ourselves on fight night in prison. And hell, that had just been the two of us getting wasted and smoking our brains out.

  "Noah. Teagan!" Lee Carter called out from the far end of the hallway.

  Dressed like a woman from the sixteen-hundreds in one of those big, puffy dresses and a head full of pinned up curls, she waved over at us as she attempted to make her way through the crowd.

  I shook my head in sympathy. Goddamn, Kyle's wife was tiny. To be fair, my wife was no lamp-pole either, but Lee was almost pocket-sized.

  Teagan and I both watched in amusement as Kyle – clad as Count Dracula – came up from behind his wife and physically hoisted her out of the crowd before ducking his face to her neck.

  "They're so cute," Teagan chuckled as she leaned closer to me and watched my brother and his wife. "Almost thirty years together and they're still all over each other."

  Lee was as red as a tomato when they finally reached us, clearly mortified.

  Meanwhile, Kyle was smiling at his wife with a shit-eating grin.

  "Happy birthday, Noah," Lee announced before throwing her arms around me in a motherly hug. I accepted the hug. I cherished it. These were the arms of the only decent mother figure I'd ever had around me.

  ****

  Teagan

  Drunk Kyle was fascinating.

  Even standing on his couch, banging away on a dusty guitar, he had a way of controlling people – of drawing people to him.

  And I had to give it to him; the guy had moves.

  "I didn’t know he played the guitar," I muttered to Noah as we stood and gaped at his oldest brother.

  "Neither did I," Noah shot back with a grin, clearly enjoying watching his brother unwind.

  "Oh, he's really very good," Lee piped up from beside me. "He used to play when he was younger, but when his grandfather passed on, Kyle was thrust into the family business. After that, he didn’t have time for much else." With glowing red cheeks, Lee smiled sheepishly. "He played to all of our children when they were little. Every evening before bed."

  "Hey, thanks for throwing this party for Noah," I announced, feeling such warmth for the woman. Being around Lee Carter was like standing close to a fire. She was just warm.

  I knew that sounded strange, but it was the only way I could explain the comforting feeling I got whenever I was in her company. Leaning closer, I added, "he might not say it, but it means a lot to him."

  Lee beamed. "Well Noah means a lot to us. You both do."

  "Oh man," Noah laughed, pointing to Hope as she stalked past us. "She looks mortified."

  How could she not be?

  When her father was blasting out his own version of Loudon Wainwright's classic D
aughter, making every woman in the room swoon and Hope turn beetroot red.

  "Dad," she hissed, covering her cheeks with her hands. "Stop."

  Unperturbed by Hope's embarrassment, Kyle continued to sing, belting out note after note effortlessly, serenading his daughter.

  "Please," Hope begged. "If you love me, even a little, you'll get down."

  A grin spread across Kyle's face.

  "Okay, Okay." Jumping down from the couch, he handed his daughter the guitar before pressing a kiss to her head. "I love you, sweetheart, but I know when my affection's not wanted." He looked around the room and locked eyes on his wife. A devilish smile spread across his face, revealing a deep dimple in his cheek. "Maybe I can persuade your mother to take a shot with me instead."

  ****

  Noah

  Scampering off, Kyle and Lee disappeared into the crowd, leaving me laughing after them, but I didn’t have much time to ponder when a hand slapped down on my shoulder, stinging the shit out of my skin, and making my blood boil with anger.

  "There's my niece!" an average sized man in his forties called out, squeezing down harder on my goddamn shoulder.

  Forcing myself not to flinch, or worse, knock the bastard out, I turned and glared at the prick who was calling my wife his niece. Obviously, he'd lost his goddamn mind because he was no uncle of Teagan's. It was obvious in the way she stared at him – like a stranger. "Do I know you?" she asked, tone cool, as she sidled closer to me. I welcome her by wrapping an arm around her, tucking her into my side.